2010s · Ann Arbor, MI · Domestic abuse · Feminism (white + black and everything in between) · First world problems · Music · Social Work · Uncategorized

The night I ran away from home. Or, big dreams, little town. Or, omg my husband is so stupid.

Sunday, March 19, 2017
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Tonight, I will transcribe a video that I left for my father on Saturday, February 11, 2017 at 3:00 AM EST. If you don’t understand the references, google them. I can’t do everything; Jeannie has her own problems, okay? xoxo


Well…I ran away from home. That’s my street (shows street). I’m so pissed at my husband; he keeps trying to do all this shit that he thinks is best for me. And my father-in-law just came out on the porch and told me I needed to listen to him because he’s my husband. My husband’s stupid. No offense, Ben. You’re fucking stupid.

I’ve been enabling him for a long time. I helped him apply to college that he didn’t get into. I helped him retake classes that he failed in. I worked really hard on turning him from a bourgie white man from Ann Arbor, Michigan with a disabled brother, and that was his worst complaint, into a fully functioning person. And, uh, it’s been 10 years and it’s just not my job anymore.

So, I think I might just go. And I don’t have my…I have my ID. I have my school ID on me. I have to find my license. I think he’s hiding my credit card and my…I think he’s trying to keep me from leaving. He can’t stop me from walking; I’m pretty strong. I mean, these are first world problems. But, I don’t know,  I feel like feeling controlled is relative.

And uh…I was really controlled in Ann Arbor. When I first started dating Ben I was a rocket. I was studying Social Work at the University of Michigan. Listening to all these upper-middle class white people tell me what poor people know and what they don’t. I know poor people. I was a poor person. And I’ve also had a lot of privilege. And in 36 years, I’ve experienced downward and upward mobility. And, my god, my husband can only…it’s like your perspective is “up.” And if you’ve never been all the way down, you just can’t see what’s below you. And you know how alcoholics, they have to hit a rock bottom before they get sober…

And yea, I abused alcohol. And I…when I was 18…actually, when I was eight I huffed gas. And my neighbors had just lost their mother. There were six kids; they were like brothers to me. That’s the [Family surname]; Adam, Chad, Ryan, Ashley, Logan, Haze…and she was in a wheelchair, the mom. Her name was Cathy [surname] and she was married to Dale [family surname].

OK, I need to turn so he can’t find me. This is the kind of life I live. My husband’s so controlling I have to go walk around…

Singing I go out walkin’ after midnight…out in the moonlight…just like we used to do. I’m always walkin’ after midnight…NOT LOOKIN’ FOR YOU! I walk for miles along the highway. Eh, it’s just a little street. And that’s just my way of sayin’ I love you. I’m always walkin’ after midnight, lookin’ for you… I stopped to see a…that’s a nice house [shows $400,000 home]…weeping willow crying on it’s pillow. Maybe he’s crying for me. And as the skies turn bloomy. Gloomy not bloomy. Night winds whisper to me, “I’m lonesome as I can be.” Ugh, you can say that again. I go out walkin’ after midnight, out in the moonlight, just like we used to do. I’m always walkin’ after midnight searchin’ for you…

[looks at the camera in frustration, grunts] Why do we grow up and become our parents? I know why, I’m a social worker. I know why.

Intermission

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Groucho Marx · House Keeping · Karl Marx

Singing for one’s supper works up the appetite. Or, from each according to [his/her] ability to each according to [his/her] need. Or, welcome to The Vaudevillian.

You like what you’ve seen so far and look forward to seeing more?  Well, it’s time to pay the piper. As of Friday, March 17th at 11:59 p.m. EST, subscription costs will be as follows.*

Plan A: North American residents**

For those who are currently working in or attending a North American public school***, subscription fees will be as follows:

  1. Junior and High School students – Free
  2. Junior and High School teachers – Free
  3. Undergraduate students – Free
  4. Graduate students – $100/year, or 3 guest blog posts
  5. Other staff – $100/year, or 3 guest blog posts
  6. Non-tenure track faculty – $200/year, or 6 guest blog posts
  7. Tenure-track faculty
    • Assistant level – $350/year, or become a regular contributor
    • Associate level = $750/year, or become a regular contributor
    • Full level- $2,000/year, or become a regular contributor
  8. School administrators – $5,000/year

For those who are currently working in or attending a North American private school, subscription fees will be as follows:

  1. Junior and High School students – $250/year, or 5 guest blog posts
  2. Junior and High School teachers – $500/year, or 10 guest blog posts
  3. Undergraduate students – $500/year, or 15 guest blog posts
  4. Graduate students – $750/year, or 20 guest blog posts
  5. Other staff – $750/year, or 20 guest blog posts
  6. Non-tenure track faculty faculty – $1,000/year, or 25 guest blog posts
  7. Tenure track faculty:
    • Assistant level – $1,500/year, or become a regular contributor
    • Associate level = $3,000/year, or become a regular contributor
    • Full level – $5,000/year, or become a regular contributor
  8. School administrators – $10,000/year

Plan B: Non-North American Residents

You ain’t got to do a goddamn thing. Except . . . you will have to submit an plea for free content with your saddest sack story via email at hahl@umich.edu. 

*Subject to change at The Vaudevillian’s discretion. Changes in price will be announced 72 hours before going into effect. Prices for non-academics will be determined on a case by case basis. Email hahl@umich.edu for special pricing. **All other global residents, email hahl@umich.edu for special pricing. ***Does not include R1 institutions. Also does not include Tier 2 and lower institutions, nor community colleges. Contact hahl@umich.edu for special pricing.

What? I really liked Marx’s Das Capital . . . though I’ve always been a Groucho Marxist.

1990s · Al Pacino · Comedy · Ex-offenders · Feminism (white + black and everything in between) · Film · Garry Marshall · Gender & Society · Mental health · Michelle Pfieffer · NYC · Social demography · Socie Dinner Party · Working class

Socie Dinner Party: Frankie and Johnny (1991). Or, Michelle Pfieffer is such a MILF. Or, Al Pacino is such a Cougar.

Thursday, March 16, 2017
Ann Arbor, Michigan

  • Days since Pine Rest: 14
  • Marital status: Divorce as soon as possible
  • Spiritual status: Judaism
  • Individual status: Jeannie. No more, no less.
  • Dietary status: Pizza and root beer
  • Drug status: Coffee and cigarettes
  • Mood: Stable
  • Personality:  Jeannie
  • Sexuality: Baths–hot, steamy bubble baths. Showers need not apply.
  • American status: So fucking American in so many ways.
  • Feminist status: Garry Marshall films. Penny Marshall films, too.
  • Hipster status: Oh, baby I like it raw . . .

Continue reading “Socie Dinner Party: Frankie and Johnny (1991). Or, Michelle Pfieffer is such a MILF. Or, Al Pacino is such a Cougar.”

2000s · Bryn Mawr College · Doctoral studies · Feminism (white + black and everything in between) · Gender & Society · invisible labor · Social demography · Socie Dinner Party · Texas · The more you know

Gender & Society, UTSA Honors Course from Juanita M. Firestone. Or, Baby feminist grows up. Or, be Tori Amos.

Thursday, March 16, 2017
Ann Arbor, Michigan

  • Days since Pine Rest: 14
  • Marital status: Questioning
  • Spiritual status: Judaism
  • Individual status: Questioning
  • Dietary status: Anything I can find, at the moment
  • Drug status: Lithium, coffee and cigarettes
  • Mood: Stable
  • Personality:  Groucho Marx
  • Sexuality: No thanks.
  • American status: From womb to tomb
  • Feminist status: Blacker than yours
  • Hipster status: Oh, god. It’s happening to me, isn’t it? Well, it isn’t all bad. There’s PBR, David Lynch movies, and American Spirits. Leather-bound notebooks and coffee shops. Hey! I’ve been hipster since 1998. God, that was so “hipster.” (read: Self-loathing)

Continue reading “Gender & Society, UTSA Honors Course from Juanita M. Firestone. Or, Baby feminist grows up. Or, be Tori Amos.”

2010s · House Keeping

Let’s get this party started. Or, who feels like guest posting? Or, why you creepin’?

I can’t watch all the movies and say all the things (read: yes, I can).

Email me at hahl@umich.edu (Subject line: VAUDEVILLIAN GUEST POST REQUEST), if you’d like to take this white man’s burden off my shoulders.

xoxo,
Jeannie

1980s · Film · Jack Nicholson · Journalism · Music · Socie Dinner Party · Stanley Kubric · Stephen King

Socie Dinner Party: The Shining (1980). Or, mental illness in the American west. Or, there ain’t nothing a little fresh air can’t cure.

Wednesday, March 14-15, 2017
Ann Arbor, Michigan

  • Days since Pine Rest: 12-13
  • Marital status: Questioning
  • Spiritual status: Judaism
  • Individual status: Questioning
  • Dietary status: Vegetarian, Kosher
  • Drug status: Lithium, coffee and cigarettes
  • Mood: Stable-ish
  • Personality: Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cookoo’s nest
  • Sexuality: No thanks.
  • American status: From womb to tomb
    • Regional status: Texan
  • Film studies status: Intermediate-advanced
  • Sociologist status: Advanced
    1. Sociology of Family and Social Demography
      • Specializations: The Family (1800-2017); Parenthood; Step-parenthood; Coresident union formation and dissolution
    2. Sociology of Gender/Sexuality
    3. Sociology of Race/ethnicity and immigration
    4. Sociology Culture
    5. Sociology of Health and Health Care
    6. Sociology of Education
  • Regions of Interest: American South and Midwest; France; Francophone Afrique; UK; Latin America

Continue reading “Socie Dinner Party: The Shining (1980). Or, mental illness in the American west. Or, there ain’t nothing a little fresh air can’t cure.”

1960s · 1990s · Bryn Mawr College · Film · Journalism · Music · Pine Rest 2017 · Self-care · Socie Dinner Party

Socie Dinner Party, Part III. Or Girl, Interrupted 50 years later. Or, the healing properties of going with the flow.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Ann Arbor, Michigan

  • Days since Pine Rest: 13
  • Marital status: Questioning
  • Spiritual status: Judaism
  • Individual status: Questioning
  • Dietary status: Vegetarian, Kosher
  • Drug status: Lithium, coffee and cigarettes
  • Mood: Stable-ish
  • Personality: Myself
  • Sexuality: No thanks.
  • American status: From womb to tomb
  • Sociologist status: From cradle to grave
  • Mental institution street cred: (2) full hospitalization (February-March 2017 and April-May 2016) and (1) partial hospitalization program (July 2016)

Continue reading “Socie Dinner Party, Part III. Or Girl, Interrupted 50 years later. Or, the healing properties of going with the flow.”

1990s · Ben Stiller · Comedy · Film · Journalism · Music · Social demography · Socie Dinner Party · Texas

Socie Dinner Party, Part II. Or, Michiganders ain’t Texans. Or, the healing properties of cinema . . . and Texas.

Monday, March 13 – Thursday, March 16, 2017
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Continue reading “Socie Dinner Party, Part II. Or, Michiganders ain’t Texans. Or, the healing properties of cinema . . . and Texas.”

1930s · Bryn Mawr College · Cary Grant · Film · Journalism · Katharine Hepburn · Music · Socie Dinner Party

Socie Dinner Party, Part I. Or be Katharine Hepburn. Or the healing properties of convincing the right person that you aren’t insane.

March 13-15, 2017
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Continue reading “Socie Dinner Party, Part I. Or be Katharine Hepburn. Or the healing properties of convincing the right person that you aren’t insane.”

House Keeping

Hey, Lookie Loos. Or, yeah, I’m talking to you. Or, No, my name’s not ‘Baby.’ It’s Janet. Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty . . .

You have until Friday, March 17, 2017 at 11:59 a.m. EST to follow me (if you’d like to keep viewing free content for eternity, that is). There’s much, much more to my story, so buckle the fuck up.

xoxo,
Jeannie

1990s · Film · Music · Pine Rest 2017 · Poetry

Day Fourteen at Pine Rest. Or, I can’t get Jewel’s You Were Meant for Me out of my head. Or, jeez, how resounding does the rejection need to be, anyway?

February 25, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
Grand Rapids, Michigan

1990s · Film · Music · Pine Rest 2017 · Poetry

Day Ten at Pine Rest. Or, don’t you know who I am , yet? Or, answer the fucking phone . . . Or, alright, I’ll just sit here and think.

Thursday, February 21, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Continue reading “Day Ten at Pine Rest. Or, don’t you know who I am , yet? Or, answer the fucking phone . . . Or, alright, I’ll just sit here and think.”

Film · Pine Rest 2017

Day Seventeen at Pine Rest. Or, oh my fucking god. Or, watch the last step; it’s a doozie.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Grand Rapids, Michigan

  • Days left: 1
  • Marital status: Mushroom cloud; also, never get married.
  • Individual status: Cleo-fucking-patra

Continue reading “Day Seventeen at Pine Rest. Or, oh my fucking god. Or, watch the last step; it’s a doozie.”

1990s · 2000s · 2010s · Comedy · Doctoral studies · Feminism (white + black and everything in between) · Film · Gender & Society · Music · Pine Rest 2017 · Self-care · Social demography · Socie Dinner Party

Day Seven at Pine Rest. Or, a “dyke whore,” no, that don’t make me. Or, I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation.

Saturday, February 18, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Continue reading “Day Seven at Pine Rest. Or, a “dyke whore,” no, that don’t make me. Or, I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation.”

Film · Music · Pine Rest 2017

Day Six at Pine Rest. Or, the day I met Sonya. Or, the day I met Janice. Or, the day I met myself.

Friday, February 17, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
Grand Rapids, Michigan

 

Author’s note:  This day was extremely traumatic. I need to come back to it later. Thanks for understanding.

Pine Rest 2017

Day Five at Pine Rest. Or, I’ve got your number, hussy. Or, everyone thinks they can do research *sigh*

Thursday, February 16, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Continue reading “Day Five at Pine Rest. Or, I’ve got your number, hussy. Or, everyone thinks they can do research *sigh*”

Pine Rest 2017

Day Four at Pine Rest. Or, pigtails and basketball. Or, my husband packed one pair of jeans and one pair of yoga pants, but zero toothbrushes.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Service
Grand Rapids, Michigan

  • Days left: 14
  • Marital status: Request for divorce (pending)
  • Spiritual status: Latent Judaism
  • Dietary status: Latent vegetarianism, Latent kosher
  • Individual status: Pigtails and basketball
  • Personality status:Madonna; Rilo Kiley; Montel Jordan
  • Mood status:
  • Visitor status: Revoked
  • Sociologist status: Obviousness; Unoriginal, macho energy . . . (Bukowski, 1987)

Continue reading “Day Four at Pine Rest. Or, pigtails and basketball. Or, my husband packed one pair of jeans and one pair of yoga pants, but zero toothbrushes.”

Pine Rest 2017

Day Three at Pine Rest. Or, life is a mystery; everyone must stand alone. Or, the making of a misfit. Or, the French are glad to die for love.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
Grand Rapids, Michigan

  • Days left: 15
  • Spiritual status: Jewish (pending)
  • Dietary status: Vegetarian (pending); Kosher (pending)
  • Marital status: Hamlet (and Ophelia); What Dreams May Come
  • Individual status: Good Will Hunting; Ordinary People
  • Mental status: Borderline
  • Mood status: Unspecified bipolar illness (DSM IV)
  • Personality status: Fuck your materialistic love; And while you’re down there, fuck you. And you too; Vogue.
  • Visitor rights: Revoked

Continue reading “Day Three at Pine Rest. Or, life is a mystery; everyone must stand alone. Or, the making of a misfit. Or, the French are glad to die for love.”

Pine Rest 2017

Day Two at Pine Rest. Or, I was alright for a while; I could smile for a while . . . Or, women: why don’t they lose some weight? Or, Mondays, amirite?

Monday, February 13, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
Grand Rapids, Michigan

  • Days left: 16
  • Spiritual status: Jewish (pending)
  • Dietary status: Kosher (pending); Vegetarian (pending)
  • Drug status: Caffeinated coffee (pending); Cigarettes (pending)
  • Marital status: Mad Men
  • Visitor rights: Revoked

Continue reading “Day Two at Pine Rest. Or, I was alright for a while; I could smile for a while . . . Or, women: why don’t they lose some weight? Or, Mondays, amirite?”

Pine Rest 2017

Day One at Pine Rest. Or, why do white people always drag you out to the woods where no one can hear you scream? Or, Josh Lyman, take me away from all this.

Sunday, February 12, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
Grand Rapids, Michigan

  • Days left: 17
  • Spiritual status: Latent Judaism
  • Dietary status: Latent kosher; Latent vegetarianism
  • Marital status: Busted flat in Baton Rouge . . .

Continue reading “Day One at Pine Rest. Or, why do white people always drag you out to the woods where no one can hear you scream? Or, Josh Lyman, take me away from all this.”