1990s · Film · Music · Pine Rest 2017 · Poetry

Day Fourteen at Pine Rest. Or, I can’t get Jewel’s You Were Meant for Me out of my head. Or, jeez, how resounding does the rejection need to be, anyway?

February 25, 2017
Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Still in the slammer:
Oy . .. 😦

by Jeannie M. Hahl, A.A., B.S., M.S.

Maybe [he] still loves me. I’m too nervous to tell him about my feelings. I mean, look what happened last time. I told. We kissed. He ran. But things were different back then – do I still have those poems? I could write more, but first I’ll need some coffee and some (read: a lot of) coffee.

Lost and Tossed

by Jeannie M. Hahl (2006)
Written in Ann Arbor, MI
Rendez-Vous coffee shop

I find myself
Still but searching
Standing somehow upright
Yet somehow sloping down

You rhapsodize
About substance
Then, you settle
For so much less

Lapping
Gallons
From
A dripping faucet

Relishing
The plot
Of ground
At your chest

I’ve never been capable
Of much
But, I was once capable of thinking so much more
Of you

But, stasis
Has progressed

Into your blanket
Of solace

And I’ve never seen you adhere so wellI want to push you
I want to scratch at
Your face
Until you forget how to acquiesce

But, more than that
I want you to forget
That I was thrown back
And then, forth

Between pipe-dreams and reality
That I was lost and tossed
As I scraped you clean
From the inside of me

I think he still loves me. I should find out for sure . . . but not yet. Let the divorce take its course.

Wouldn’t it be great if [he] loved me too? Calm down.

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